• Parents should set aside time to meet together and plan out exactly what will be said to defiant teen. Once decided do not deviate from the plan.
• Decide on who will be the spokesperson. Only one parent should speak during the meeting. Nodding in agreement or using positive body language is fine. Body contact between parents is also advised as it signifies that parents are united in their goal.
•Parents should request to meet with the teen. This should take place at a time when there is no immediate conflict. It should not be when the teen is going out or just before bed. Teen should be reassured that they have done nothing wrong and that they are not in trouble.
•Time should be restricted to not more than 20 minutes. Less is best. Let your teen know ahead how long it will be and stick strictly to the limit. Note the time when you start.
• Meeting should start with a positive reinforcing statement.
Example Conversation: Your Mom/Dad and I are really proud of many of your achievements. We love you so much and want to support your goals. We wanted to get together to talk about…..